Pink
by homeric
Summary: Tonks thinks that Remus is missing the point...


Everything has been borrowed from J.K. Rowling.

Once a month Remus Lupin lost control and became the image of the monster that had savaged him as a child. Acreature driven by bloodlust, savage and remorseless. The transition was painful, the guilt afterwards heavy and all consuming: and yet he would have given anything to trade a full moon for the slender sickle that graced the night sky outside the Weasleys's kitchen window.

"Is there something wrong?"

Nymphadoras's voice was soft in the darkness. He could sense her gaze upon him and resisted the urge to turn around. The question was fair enough he supposed; after all he had been staring out the window for the past twenty minutes.

"Nothing that I can see." Turning briefly towards the girl sat at the table, Remus shrugged and managed to avoid her eyes.

"The Death Eaters are probably regrouping."

"Probably."

"You should get some sleep, I don't mind taking first watch." Running a hand through his shaggy hair, he slumped into a chair at the opposite end of the table, careful not to brush against her as he passed.

Tonks watched him through narrowed eyes and tried to control her irritation. He looked tired, his hair badly in need of cutting, his eyes shadowed. Dishevelled at the best of times, worry and lack of sleep had left him positively unkempt. The silence stretched uncomfortably, finally unable to bear it, Tonks snapped.

"It won't kill you to look at me."

"Go to bed Nymphadora," he replied wearily. "It has been a long night, you need your rest."

"Don't order me to bed like I'm a child!" Kicking her chair back angrily, she almost snarled the words. The creak of floorboards above them reminded her that they were not alone, and she paused, settling back down on the chair. Biting her lip and turning her head away, so he could not see the tears, she tried and failed to gain the courage to walk out of the door with whatever dignity still remained.

"I never had you down as a coward," she said softly.

"For protecting you?"

The words stung. Finally looking up at her, Lupin felt his heart twist. Such a vibrant young woman should not look so defeated, so lost.

"This isn't protecting me." Regaining a little of her composure, she glared at him crossly. "I can't help how I feel about you, believe me I've tried."

Here it was finally; the conversation they had been avoiding for months - Remus was almost relieved.

Avoiding the eyes of the slender girl watching him warily, Remus reminded himself of his situation. "You deserve better," he said firmly.

"You are impossible." Tonks narrowed her eyes and fought down the urge to hex him into obedience. "I'm an Auror - what do you think you are saving me from? With or without you I will still face Death Eaters, Vold.."

"Enough."

He had spoken without thinking, his argument more a snarl than a request. Stalking around the kitchen table, Remus barely restrained himself from either throwing her out the back door or disappearing through it himself.

"Don't even think about it." Following his gaze Tonks nodded towards the doorway, "extra security remember?"

"We have been through this." Wearily rubbing a hand over his face he glanced at her and felt his heart twist, it was only the young who could see things in such clear shades of black and white. If any creature was painted in shades of grey it was the werewolf: Remus Lupin, competent teacher, valued member of The Order and once a month ravenous monster.

"Have we?" her eyes narrowed.

"I have already told you.."

"Too old, too poor, too dangerous," she said quietly. "Ostracised by society and a killer when the full moon rises. You know how I feel, you know that none of that matters to me."

Turning away Remus listened to the faint rasp of her breath, the soft whispering rustle as she toyed nervously with her robes.

"Tell me that you feel nothing for me and I will go," she said softly.

"Feel nothing for you?" Looking up he studied her reflection in the kitchen window. She was trembling with indignation, dark eyes blazing with hostility. _If only you knew,_ he thought bitterly.

"Ask me to leave and I will." Tonks unfurled herself from the sideboard gracefully, "say it now and I swear I will never mention it again."

_There were memory charms, he thought frantically, the imperious curse…_ His mind went blank and the words he blurted out were clumsy and ill thought out.

"You know I can't. You know I can't possibly be what you need, there are…"

Tonks almost growled in annoyance. Crossing the distance between them swiftly, she grabbed his ragged robes and kissed him. Her mouth was soft against his, the protests that had seemed so important moments ago, instantly forgotten.

Sweet peace and soft skin. Had they been arguing? He couldn't remember.

"You talk too much." Nymphadora released him reluctantly.

Remus laughed despite himself, and for a moment the tiredness that shadowed his face lifted, so that for once he looked like any carefree man his age. Tonks's slender body was startlingly warm in his arms, her words almost breathless against his ear.

"The noble thing gets boring after a while," she said gently, sliding warm fingers under his ragged shirt.

Running a hand through the bristly softness of her bright pink hair, he carefully traced the line of her cheekbone with one finger.

"Everything I said was true. This won't be easy."

Tonks gave him a half smile, "No guarantees, not for you and not for me."

Pulling him down for another kiss, she watched with fascinated wonder as he closed his eyes, his hands pulling her to him fiercely, the inevitability of it all hot and sweet and almost dizzyingly right.

"No regrets," she said sternly.

"No." He quirked an eyebrow in amusement and ran a lock of her hair through his fingers. "Pink?"

She grinned, revelling in his closeness. With a blink she changed her dark eyes to azure blue. "I don't think brown really suited me."

"A little restrained?"

"Exactly." The smile she gave him was broad, unselfconscious and anything but.


End file.
